One of the things I’ve found hard about my ADHD brain is its inconsistency. From writing newsletters to waking up focused, and then fighting the ‘wall of awful’ by lunch, ADHD inconsistency has often annoyed me. I mean, why evolve to have a brain that does such frustrating things and makes it so undependable?
I’ve tried to create so many routines and habits. But there’s this little judgy voice in my head, I call it Geraldine. She’s ‘team ADHD inconsistency’ and keeps telling me I can’t do it.
But what if Judgy Geraldine is not telling the truth?
Let’s look at the evidence:
- I brush my teeth twice daily – sometimes I floss.
- Each day, I take my medication at 8 am, drink water and eat some food.
- I always put my keys in the little clay dish in the hall next to my Wi-Fi router.
- Mon to Fri, I reduce my electricity use between 6 and 9 pm, to save money and help the planet.
- I check my email regularly during the day.
This is a short-ish list, but you get the gist. Not everything Judgy Geraldine says is right. She’s got good intentions. She’s trying to keep me safe, but her software is ancient and hasn’t been updated for a 21st-century human lifestyle. Yes, some areas of our lives benefit from consistency; paying bills, eating, movement.
But let’s not forget that fabness arises from our inconsistent, impulsive ADHD brains: Learning, Innovation, Creation, Joy
Women creatives (that’s most of us, right?) with ADHD brains often experience this inconsistency, finding it both a challenge and a source of unique strengths. Those who are late diagnosed with ADHD may particularly struggle, having lived much of their lives without understanding the root cause of their experiences.
But we can and do find ways to see our strengths and to silence the judgy voice in our heads.
Here’s my letter to Judgy Geraldine
Dearest Geraldine,
Thank you for looking after me all these years. Now it’s time for you to take a break. Save your energy for when a lion escapes from London Zoo and tries to maul me because I think it looks cute and want to hug it.
Why?
Because I’ve got this. I’m building a framework for my life that isn’t a box. It’s any shape I want it to be. There’s lots of space inside to explore life, mysteries, and me. I’m calling it my Brain Frame.
The boundaries of my Brain Frame are my basics, keeping me safe so I can play, explore and discover within it.
When I learn about something I want to add to the framework, I try to do the following
- Find something I like that’s already in my Brain Frame – aka its routine, I don’t need to think about it; I just do it.
- Attach the new task to that bit of my Brain Frame.
- Introduce the new task gently and with kindness.
- Celebrate the new task.
- Make time to review it, asking curious questions
- Is it right for me?
- How often is it realistic?
- Is it be something I put into my Idea Seeds Barn?
- Has this stopped being fun?
- Can I rotate it with something else?
- Is it time to say goodbye to this?
Thank you again, Geraldine, you’ve worked so hard over the years but now I’m getting to know you and the other parts of my ADHD brain better, it’s time for you to kick back and relax.
Best sparkles✨
Anj
P.S. If you come back I might tell you to do one. That would be unkind so don’t make me do it.
ADHD inconsistency isn’t always a curse
Sometimes, it’s the lemon juice that lights up our world in unexpected and wonderful ways. So let’s hug that lemon, and work with it rather than make over sugary lemonade and get bored halfway through. 💜✨🧠
Want to love your ADHD brain more? I’d love to chat with you about how coaching puts you in control of your Brain Frame.